i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
