You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
