It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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