awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
