Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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