Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
