If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
