Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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