...so i touched it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
