I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
