ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
