When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
