Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
