I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
