WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
