I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
