I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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