Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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