He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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