I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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