BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
