i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize