ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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