Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
