I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
