Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
