ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
from now on my penis is your penis
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
