Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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