Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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