That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Randomize
