SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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