i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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