at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
