And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
