You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
