You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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