i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
