K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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