So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
