Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Randomize
