Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
