They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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