I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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