Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
