she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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