it glows. i had to have it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
