You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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