I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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