i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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