i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
