so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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