so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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