I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
whose parrot is this?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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