I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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