it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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