if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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