he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
