I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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