that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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