i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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