I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
